Benign Neglect

MY UTERUS IS SUFFERING FROM BENIGN NEGLECT.
When a person is severely mal-nourished, they slowly begin to die. Their stomachs swell as they become physiologically agitated and starved by imbalanced and inconsistant nourishment. It feeds off of itself and eventually will refuse traditional methods of nourishment. The stomach reaches a point where it can no longer perform its intended duties without intervention. The worsening conditioning effects other bodily characteristics and functions. Without resolving the starvation, there is no resolving the other ermerging issues.

What I have described, is the condition of my uterus. I have neglected it by virtue of proper nurishment (diet & spiritual) and care (physical/health). Instead of honoring it every day, I have cursed it for the pain it brings me every month. I didn't realize that the pain and the increase in menstrual flow (up to 3 times per month) was my uterus crying out to me for help and attention. I didn't comprehend the language it spoke and I never tried to take the course to learn the language. That is the nature of the benign neglect; not caring enough; being too self-absorbed to see that you are only hurting yourself. Bad things don't always happen because of intention; but, some times thru LACK of attention.

The extreme pain I liken to my worst birthing pains and I have an extremely heavy flow. Instead of taking heed to the distress calls, I muzzled the flow using 2 super-plus sized tampons and a heavy overnight sanitary pad WITH wings and still she (my uterus) would bleed through it all inside of forty minutes. I took Vicodin to muffle the scream of the pain.
It is only now, days after being checked by my OB-GYN and being told that what should have been an organ less than the size of a woman's fist is now the size of a cantaloupe.... it is only now that I recall the doctor describing the misplacement and deformity of my uterine lining. I remember that he couldn't even see or assess the condition of my ovaries because the "huge" uterus (he said that over and over again) was in the way.

TAKING OUT THE TRASH
The fibroid tumors that are growing on my uterus and causing the uterus itself to enlarge are benign growths that form on the interior muscular wall of the uterus. They have also developed on the exterior of the uterus. Let's call fibroids what they really are... “trash bags.” Our bodies are toxic and the proof is in the condition of our major eliminative organs (colon, liver, kidneys, lungs, and skin). They are either sluggish or just don’t work at all. When in this condition, the body’s knows to cause an internal trash bag to form in order to hold toxic fluidic waste. This is the tumor. Therefore; a tumor is a trash bag. Tumors hold waste to prevent the waste from circulating throughout the body. Fibroid tumors range in sizes from small cherries to grapefruits and cantaloupe AND beyond! And wouldn't you know it, mine are cantaloupe size! ...that's a LOT of trash! ... a lot of toxins.

WHERE DOES THE TRASH COME FROM?
The majority of these toxins come into our bodies thru fine grains and dairy products... Processing of dairy products is a whole different conversation! But if you study it, you will understand why they are considered toxic... especially cheese! So what toxins/trash will we literally find in our fibroid tumor/trash bags? Mucus, parasites and worms, and other toxins, too.

INCONCLUSIVE CONCLUSION
Is it too late to save my uterus? While I cursed it monthly, I never really believed that it would leave on its own. I figured I would have to conjure up or exxagerate a condition to have it taken out, put out, kicked to the operating room curb. But now that I am facing being left by her, I am not so sure that I am ready to be forced to extract my "life force" the very essence of my "person".

Seeking Peace,
shYne

Days of Compassion

It is more often told but no longer demonstrated by our elders, that our indigenous ancestors, when they came on their moon cycles, were isolated with other women, in a nurturing environment, nurturing themselves, being nurtured by others and nurturing others in the most harmoniously and peaceful way.  It was a time to let go of the male energies that they had stored and received in their wombs during the previous month, along with all the emotional debris from all of the family members that they breathed with every night.  It gave them an opportunity to cleanse and therefore take back cleansing energy to the rest of those that they belonged to as mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts and Grandmothers, Great Grandmothers and Godmothers.  These days  I choose to call our "Days of Compassion."

  Our spiritual, physical, and emotional/mental health was attended to.  A certain type of etiquette in terms of communication was followed, it being one that led to the highest respect for the grandmother, but also never being less than respectful to the youngest.  

Wisdom was shared, insight was given, burdens were laid down. The idea, focus was one of coming back to the centre, the center of ones being.  Finding the balance in the things that seemingly were out of balance while affirming the divine energy that balances all, at all times.  The moon cycle, universally, collectively, and individualy speaks to that balance.  The gathering of energy, the releasing of energy, illumination/shadows, the seen, the unseen.  The feminine force of the universe as it manifests itself in this plane of duality and understanding it's power, can best be known by knowing oneself. We as women are tied to the universe like no other, through our personal moon cycle. 

In order for a caregiver to give, they must be filled with something.  If the caregiver is tired, irritable, exhausted, angry, frustrated, anxious, stressed, wounded, the care that they give will be tainted by those emotions, consciously, or unconsciously.  There are those Women who have feelings of humiliation and shame tied into their moon cycle who have suffered, just because they are women. How do we overcome the negative conditioning of our womanhood and embrace the Goodness of the Goddess?

  When so many of us are at jobs or in other uncomfortable environments while our bodies are making us equally as uncomfortable what do we do?  

It may take many years until we can make the changes in our society so that women are comfortable and not merely trying to fit in, or make do in a "man's world".  In order for society to change, we first have to change our attitudes about our femininity and figure out what we need to do to honor ourselves. We can't possibly expect someone else to respond to needs that we don't acknowledge exist. We have to stop being the round peg trying to fit into the square hole.  We as women are the "whole" in more ways than one, that all others should be trying to fit into.  

The simplest definition of honor is "to show respect for."  

How does one respect oneself, spiritual, emotionally and physically as a woman.  Who are we as women, independent of our ethnicities, cultures, careers, relationships? 

This blog space is a place to examine those things.  To examine ourselves and the way we feel about the things in our lives that have made us who we are.  

Allowing ourselves the time that we need to be whole should be respected by all, but mainly by us.  It is my belief that we need to bring those "Days of Compassion" back into our lives.  I have started by deciding that during my moontime I will not cook, unless I want to.  I will take that opportunity to be served, by eating out, ordering in, or allowing someone else to prepare a meal for me.  This is my way of being compassionate to myself.  By being compassionate to myself I feel it will give me what it takes to be more compassionate to others. This is just the first thing that I've decided on for myself.  There are many ways that one can choose based on your individual circumstances.  I encourage women to find ways to honour themselves during their moontime each month, even if you are no longer bleeding.